In Memory

Sibling's Name: Barbara Jo (Barbie)

Relation to them: Sister (my younger)

Date of Birth: May 10, 1972

Date of Death: December 25, 2004

Their age when they died: 32

My age when they died: 36

Cause of Death: Domestic Violence. She was shot at point blank range in the neck, severing her spinal cord and leaving her a quadriplegic for 2.5 years until she succumbed to pneumonia.

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Her daughter

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: It fractured us a little more than my mom’s dead already had.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Barbie was the baby of our family. We spoiled her, all of us. Watching her gravitate to a series of violent relationships, never able to understand why, will forever haunt me.

Sibling's Name: John

Relation to them: Big Brother

Date of Birth: 12/8/1963

Date of Death: 2/7/2025

Their age when they died: 61

My age when they died: 51

Cause of Death: Coronary disease and diabetes

What makes you feel close to your sibling: The Beatles, all the movies John loved and hated, reading the books and screenplays he wrote, stand up comedy, and cutting a steak.

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: John left a huge hole in our hearts filled with sadness. We miss him, his humor, his opinion and stubborn ways that made him our John.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: My brother John could have been mad at the world, but he wasn't. John kept going, made people laugh, was generous and kind. I hope he knows how much I loved him. Naming my son after him was one of the best decisions I ever made. Love you Big Brother.

Sibling's Name: Walter

Relation to them: younger sister

Date of Birth: 11/1/1954

Date of Death: 3/28/1975

Their age when they died: 20

My age when they died: 18

Cause of Death: suicide

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Listening to the many songs he covered on the piano, sharing stories about him with my one remaining brother and anyone else who knew him, doing poor imitations of his brilliant impressions of so many people we knew together, writing a memoir about him, being with my husband, whose playful sense of humor is so much like Walter's

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: It taught me a long, hard lesson about how to be compassionate with myself and others, and I believe it made us all a little to a lot more honest with ourselves and each other

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: In his final 3 years, Walter was always trying to inspire me to feel my feelings, tell my truths, and thereby be more fully alive. I'm still learning that lesson, and he continues to be my funny, songful, soulful coach.

Sibling's Name: Keagan

Relation to them: He was my sister & my only brother (the youngest)

Date of Birth: 11/06/1987

Date of Death: 29/08/2013

Their age when they died: 26

My age when they died: 31

Cause of Death: Ewings Sarcoma (bone cancer)

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Sign language, Deaf jokes, Egg on toast, bear hugs, the movie 'The Untouchables'

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: His death changed the course of my life in that it was the reason I started writing, and then working online. As for my family, in some ways it brought us closer, in others it broke us apart. Everyone's reaction to grief is so different...

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: In so many ways, my little brother was my greatest teacher. Through everything that I have learnt since he died, it's as if he already knew how to live it. He had an effortless wisdom. He was wise without trying. Some of the biggest lessons I have ever learned, I have learned from his quiet example. He taught me to see people without prejudice and love them without condition. He showed me what fierce courage and determination really is, but also what profound acceptance means. He was without compare the strongest person I have ever known.

Sibling's Name: Chris

Relation to them: My younger brother

Date of Death: 1994

Their age when they died: 19

My age when they died: 22

Cause of Death: Boating accident

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Music and being in the mountains, as well as his annual scholarship ceremony

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: He was a wise soul who was so kind, sentimental, brave, funny, and my best friend.

Sibling's Name: Jeff Perkins

Relation to them: He was my younger brother

Date of Birth: 03-01-1978

Date of Death: 03-02-1997

Their age when they died: 19

My age when they died: 23

Cause of Death: Suicide

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Nature, Fishing, Willie Nelson, Football, Humor

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: We'll forever be marked by a before and after, but 19 years of wonderful, happy memories are cherished forever. And the love remains.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Jeff was the funniest, kindest, most open hearted person I've ever known. He was a stellar athlete, a natural outdoorsman, and a loyal friend and brother. He was loved more than words can say, and we miss him every day.

Sibling's Name: Leigh-Ann Thomasina Cassels Kreager Wood

Relation to them: Older and only sister

Date of Birth: June 30 1962

Date of Death: December 30 2013

Their age when they died: 51 1/2 years old

My age when they died: 54 years old

Cause of Death: Pancreatic cancer

What makes you feel close to your sibling: When I see a ‘sister sky’ - pink and blue in amongst clouds.

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: Leigh-Ann ‘came to me’ after she died and said, “Let your true colours show.” I’ve made creativity a large part of life ever since. (I always trusted my sister.)

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: I never thought I could live without Leigh-Ann in my life. I learned I can still have her with me through ‘continuing bonds.’

Sibling's Name: Cynthia

Relation to them: SIL

Date of Birth: 09-03-47

Date of Death: 03-24-67

Their age when they died: 19

My age when they died: 8

Cause of Death: Car Accident

What makes you feel close to your sibling: I am writing a braided memoir about Cynthia. I am in touch with 2 of her friends.

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: Neither my husband or I have any siblings, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, nieces or nephews.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Thank you for creating this support group. Cynthia’s loss parallels a traumatic sibling issue in my own family.

Sibling's Name: Lyndsey

Relation to them: Sister

Date of Birth: 2/11/1988

Date of Death: 12/20/23

Their age when they died: 35

My age when they died: 37

Cause of Death: Brain Injury

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Listening to Music, Looking at Pictures & Videos, Past Memories, My Son, Her Son.

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: It Shattered our family. Broke our hearts- not once but twice. Her husband and son moved halfway across the US- so we lost them both.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Inimitable- Unique, Strong, Beautiful, One of a Kind, Irreplaceable, Special!

Sibling's Name: Larry Woodall

Relation to them: My twin brother. I was older by 6 minutes.

Date of Birth: 6/22/1958

Date of Death: 1/2/1991

Their age when they died: We were 32.

My age when they died: We were 32.

Cause of Death: suicide

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Carole King's "Tapestry" and Black Sabbath's "Iron Man"; looking at Larry's art-making, especially his photographs; finding feathers; seeing his intensity show up in the faces of certain actors playing certain characters; writing about twin loss.

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: Unfortunately, Larry's death created more dysfunction in a family system struggling with mental illness and societal shaming.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Larry loved to goof off and make people laugh. His creative energy and vision inspired me and many others. He loved big and laughed brighter.

Sibling's Name: Josh

Relation to them: Younger sister

Date of Birth: 1972

Date of Death: 2012

Their age when they died: 40

My age when they died: 38

Cause of Death: suicide

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Watching young children play. Decorating the Christmas tree. Witnessing similar traits in my son. Eating tiramisu.

Sibling's Name: Jane

Relation to them: Older sister

Date of Birth: 11/06/1959

Date of Death: 11/07/1981

Their age when they died: 22

My age when they died: 25

Cause of Death: Automobile accident

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Whenever I ice skate and feel Jane close to me

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: We are forever changed, but I will always remain the middle of three sisters

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Despite all that I have lost, I am grateful to honor my sisters and keep their memories alive, they are forever part of me.

Sibling's Name: Margie

Relation to them: Younger sister

Date of Birth: 11/08/1954

Date of Death: 08/01/1990

Their age when they died: 35

My age when they died: 33

Cause of Death: 20 year battle with anorexia/bulimia

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Every time I ice skate I feel Margie with me

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: Our lives were forever changed, but grateful to share them with my writing and fundraiser to keep their memories alive.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Thank you for providing a space and acknowledging sibling loss.

Sibling's Name: Christopher

Relation to them: Big Sister

Date of Death: He died in October of 2021

Their age when they died: 49

My age when they died: 50

Cause of Death: Complications from COVID-19

What makes you feel close to your sibling: The music of Jackson Browne, because Chris loved all of it. And, red-tailed hawks when I see them flying.

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: Chris was my first "mom-gig" even though we were only 14 months apart. I was there the day he was born and I sat by his side as he took his last breaths. When he died, I was already the oldest in my family, having lost our grandparents, parents, and aunts/uncles. Losing Chris left me feeling very alone in this world.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Chris had a great sense of humor and the kindest of hearts.

Sibling's Name: Rob

Relation to them: My older brother

Date of Birth: November 17, 1972

Date of Death: December 1, 1996

Their age when they died: 24

My age when they died: 21

Cause of Death: Type 1 Diabetes

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Being around his friends, hearing people remembering him

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: I lived for my parents and tried to make up for his loss

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: His niece is named after him, he is remembered

Sibling's Name: Angie

Relation to them: She was my big sister

Date of Birth: July 26, 1956

Date of Death: January 11, 1982

Their age when they died: 25

My age when they died: 19

Cause of Death: Homicide

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Certain songs—My Baby Loves Lovin’, Build Me Up Buttercup, Stuck in the Middle With You, Angie, and anything by the Monkees.

Anything else you'd like to share: She was the first person I remember loving in this life.

Sibling's Name: Premi

Relation to them: My older half sister

Date of Birth: 8/11/1950

Date of Death: 3/2022

Their age when they died: 71

My age when they died: 62

Cause of Death: Suicide

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Rocks and gems

Sibling's Name: John

Relation to them: My younger brother

Date of Birth: 10/6/1961

Date of Death: 11/29/2023

Their age when they died: 62

My age when they died: 64

Cause of Death: Complications of cancer

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Kayaking

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: We lost our ‘baby’ brother

Sibling's Name: Joe

Relation to them: My younger brother

Date of Birth: 6/6/76

Date of Death: 2/8/97

Their age when they died: 20

My age when they died: 22

Cause of Death: Suicide

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Listening to 90s grunge and hiking in the woods. I also hear a bit of his voice in my laughter.

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: It launched me on my healing journey and informs the work I do today.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: I think of Joe all the time and sometimes I talk to him while I write.

Sibling's Name: David

Relation to them: My older brother

Date of Death: September 2008

Their age when they died: 47

My age when they died: 35

Cause of Death: A fall from a mountain in Colorado while hiking

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Being in nature doing something fun

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: How long do you have?!

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: I'm so grateful to have had my athletic, smart, generous, adorable brother. And I will never stop missing him.

Sibling's Name: Mindy

Relation to them: Older sister

Their age when they died: 3

My age when they died: 13

Cause of Death: Tay-Sachs Disease

What makes you feel close to your sibling: My oldest son is named after Mindy.

Sibling's Name: Fernando Gutiérrez Jr.

Relation to them: Older brother

Date of Birth: 01/31/1981

Date of Death: 12/23/2000

Their age when they died: 19

My age when they died: 12

Cause of Death: Murdered

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Music, specifically Tupac

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: The family dynamic fell apart. I became rebellious, hiding depression.

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: Although Fernie left us I want him to always be remembered as a happy soul, always smiling, courteous, down to earth personality and all around great person.

Sibling's Name: Drew

Relation to them: He was my younger brother.

Date of Birth: 4/2/1981

Date of Death: 2/11/2020

Their age when they died: 38

My age when they died: 40

Cause of Death: Complications of metastatic colon cancer

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Watching sports, talking politics, Pearl Jam’s “Given to Fly.”

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: I wish you had known him, you would have loved him.

Sibling's Name: Debbie Gummere Lilgendahl

Relation to them: sister

Date of Birth: 10/22/1944

Date of Death: 2/22/1980

Their age when they died: 35

My age when they died: 27

Cause of Death: cancer

Anything Else You'd like to Share: Sometimes I hear her laughter, like an echo.

Sibling's Name: Matt

Relation to them: Brother

Date of Birth: 1977

Date of Death: 2020

Their age when they died: 43

My age when they died: 49

Cause of Death: Accidental Overdose

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Laughter! Jack Black, the Grateful Dead, Cardinals, Orange Skies, hospitality, practical jokes, baseball, Golf and silly golfing movies, joy

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: It changed us, but it didn't break us.

Anything else you'd like to share: I hope that a day comes when no one loses a sibling to mental illness or overdose.

Sibling's Name: Andrew

Relation to them: Older sister

Date of Birth: 08/19/1985

Date of Death: 05/1/1992

Their age when they died: 7

My age when they died: 12

Cause of Death: He was struck by a car while crossing the road

What makes you feel close to your sibling: My daughters and their goofiness, love of science, and curiosity.

How Did Their Death Change Your or Your Family: We went from a family of 4 to 3. I was left an only child for all intents and purposes though I was still very much a sibling*. (The * signifies to me that there is a footnote.) My parents and I are unusually close because of this experience. Our faith was also solidified.

Sibling's Name: Michael

Relation to them: My Older Brother

Date of Death: He died in 1984

My age when they died: When I was 10.

Cause of Death: He died in a hiking accident.

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Humor, watching sitcoms.

Anything else you'd like to share: I think of him often and will love him forever.

Sibling's Name: Jimmy

Relation to them: My Older Brother

Date of Birth: September 25th, 1992

Date of Death: February 16th, 2014

Their age when they died: 21

My age when they died: 17

Cause of Death: Brain Cancer

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Listening to Classic Rock, watching his favorite shows and movies, playing Nintendo Games

Sibling's Name: Will

Relation to them: Older sister

Date of Birth: 1977

Date of Death: 1999

Their age when they died: 21

My age when they died: 24

Cause of Death: accidental overdose

What makes you feel close to your sibling: Listening to music he loved, watching Adam Sandler movies.