Beautifully Poignant Stories

 

After the death of his sister when he was 11, I often worried about my son. Well-meaning people told him, "Take care of your mother." I knew he was suffering but he'd brush me off when I'd try to get him to talk about it. It took years for us to have that conversation. Years before we could cry together. This important book shows us, in beautifully poignant stories, how sibling grief is so often overlooked.

Book Review: The Loss of a Lifetime by Lynn Shattuck, Alyson Shelton 

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The Loss of a Lifetime" is both a tender companion to the sibling grief journey and an invitation to seek safe places to tell our stories and, whenever possible, invite others to share this space with us. It's a reminder that while our grief journeys are unique unto ourselves, there are others who share similar stories and experiences with whom we can connect in our strengths and in our vulnerabilities. A rare and shining light for those of us who've lost a sibling, "The Loss of a Lifetime" is a welcome addition to the literary world of grief studies and the far too often ignored experience of sibling loss.

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Full Review here

A look at Loss with Both Depth & Breadth

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I was not given much space or example for how to grieve in my life, yet I find I am losing and letting go all the time. Siblings suffering loss can be given even less room - their grief sidelined by a parent’s, rushed by a family’s need to move on, or eclipsed by overwhelm to the system in the harrowing circumstances of that loss.

This anthology begins a fresh conversation. Here siblings share stories, from very different points of view, on how the loss of a sibling rippled out across time. Some of it heavy, all of it valuable.

For me, it was a place to be with grief, connect to my own losses, and feel comforted and less alone. I thought about how both sacred and tricky families can be, with so much shared history and unspoken experience.

I highly recommend it to anyone looking for other kind hearts as companions on the journey.

Everyone should read this book

 

While this book is primarily meant to fill a void regarding the acknowledgement of trauma due to sibling loss, I believe it has tremendous value for anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one. This collection of grieving voices does make very clear, however, that the shattering effect of losing a sister or brother carries its own special brand of trauma and grief. This unique relationship is brilliantly illustrated by 26 different authors, each with their own literary approach to telling their story.   Despite the broad variety of writing styles, I found several of the accounts to be extremely cinematic. The visual impact took me a little by surprise with many of the texts generating very intense film-like imagery. This is powerful stuff.

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There was another aspect that I hadn’t expected. Not only did reading the book generate intensified feelings of grief for everyone lost in my own family and for all of us survivors, I also found myself grieving for the losses of all of these writers, regardless of the fact that I’ve never met any of them. As was said in the book many times and in different ways, the grieving never goes away. Depending on the triggers, the intensity just gets turned up or down over time.
This book was intended to be of special benefit to those grieving the loss of a sibling, but it provides a profound emotional sustenance for us all.

Everyone should read this book.